Entries
today feel like touching my blog .. writing one more blog for the last time before i go to my holiday .. mood swing lots nowadays .. dont know why.. feel like crying but somehow those tears dont seem to come out anymore .. feel like screaming but the voice wont come out too .. nothing else to express myself =( feel terribly sick these few days~ whenever we're together i feel happy .. whenever ur gone to somewhere im down .. is this love ? or is this because i cant live without you ? im too depress all of a sudden since u left just now =( im leaving next week .. i wonder can i live without you by then .. 8 days without talking to u .. contacting u .. chatting with you .. i think im gonna miss you like crazy bunny =~ how do u expect me to live without you next time ?
bunny, do u know i love u very very much ? =( i really really love u .. can u teach me what to do now ? everytime i see her online, i feel so pressured .. i know that if she goes online, u'll be happier ..with or without me, there makes no difference too rite ? i miss u more each day ... do u know ? do u know everytime i talk to u ? i feel like telling u i really love u .. how much i needed u .. but i just cant bring myself to say it .. what if i cant get over forever ? what if one day we wont be able to even talk anymore ? will u miss me like how u miss her ? tell me ..
today, i went to my brother's friend's father shop to buy shoe .. sheeesh! it cost me 300++ and somemore plus all those socks and bla bla bla thingy .. and went to 423 bucks ~ damn lar >.< something ="P">
i called bunny around 5 something, he was in the function adi >.<>
LAST OF ALL >.<
last msg: i'll miss u guys out there .. really going to miss u all especially my bunny =~ promise me wont leave me alrite ? not even a single second ..
MUACKS~!!!
Signing off,
@dEeN3 aka blurrbaby aka baby^ade aka RABBIT~ =P
..ade
ttn'
12:10 AM
Saturday, November 20, 2004
he's here for me to meet, but some feelings is mixed inside of me .. its 10 days since i've ever write this blog.. just dun have the feelings of writing it .. i miss him dearly .. i miss him so much :( but he's with her, does he know how much im hurting ? does he know how i terrible im feeling everytime i read their journal ? i really got no more strength to go on but i keep holding on to him cause i wish one day he'll come back but i dare not let go cause i know he won't turn back to look at me anymore ..
..ade
ttn'
12:12 PM
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Today was the last day of school ~ I wasn’t really in the good mood~ not to say bad mood lar .. just that dunno what’s wrong wif my bunny, he’s not in a real mood so it kinda come to me too =( really don’t know why, he just can’t live without her ? what about me ? if I’m gone, will he even realize it ? I guess not, I don’t think I’m even important to him =( forget about it bah .. I don’t know what to talk adi =( .. bye
..ade
ttn'
9:28 PM
Monday, November 08, 2004
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my valentine
All of my lifeI been waiting for
All you give to me
You’ve opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn’t love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
Cause all I need is you my valentine
You’re all I need, my love, my valentine
What am I to you? I really want to know, I know I don’t have the rights to say anything about you and her but I just don’t know what to feel whenever I see you both together, so loving, so sweet, and I feel so jealous. I regret everything now, but I can’t change back the time anymore. Really miss and love you bunny =( yesterday was my birthday, was happy but not now.
..ade
ttn'
12:08 AM
Friday, November 05, 2004
Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
And I wondered if he noticed me
He took my breath away
Dear diary
I can't get him off my mind
And it scares me
'Cause I've never felt this way
No one in this world
Knows me better than you do
So diary I'll confide in you
Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
As he walked by
I thought he smiled at me
And I wondered
Does he know what's in my heart
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe
Should I tell him how I feel
Or would that scare him away
Diary, tell me what to do Please tell me what to say
Dear diary
One touch of his hand
Now I can't wait to see that boy again
He smiled
And I thought my heart could fly
Diary, do you think that we'll be more than friends?
I've got a feeling we'll be so much more
It all started at May 31st and ended on September 13th =)
But I’m still glad I was with him cause he was my shield, my everything, he makes me who I am now.
Sometimes I really wish I could just let the past go and start of with my new life, but images of him keep haunting me back and makes me love him more but all I can say now is I’m trying very hard now to just treat him like my best friend. He was all I ever had, but now he belongs to some else or should I say he’s not mine anymore. I love him very much till now I really do. In the next 20 minutes I’m gonna be officially 13 !! Hehehe, so happy ~ I’m going to gurney with my best buddies tomorrow =) that include some strangers too who wanna gimme present. Muacks ~ here is where I’m gonna stop. Lazy to type ler. Ehhehe
Lots of Love,
Adelene (baby^ade aka blurrbaby)
..ade
ttn'
11:43 PM
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Hmm~ today’s a sunny day, okok lar~ got rain and was a lil stormy just now. Just now my bunny was sad but then I guess he’s okie now ~ muackss. Past is the past, life goes on =) u always have me still mar ~ okok, talk about today ar, I woke up at 9.30 dunno y, the first thing I do was look at my handphone see if my bunny called or sms-ed me but sad case, bunny didn’t =( I was kinda miserable at first but then I came online, I saw him. Heheh so happy ~ well okok lar hahaha I came online 2 minutes after I woke up~ jump down ~ not like the jump from up to down tat wan ar ~ mati terus.. after that he was away but im still happy seeing him there :p hehehe ~ okok then I called him to see if he’s okie around 10 something ler ~ he was watching cartoons ~ so cute!! >.< jealous liao
Ehhhehe fine ~ get back to me uh huh~ then my mum was buying newspaper for my dad when I called him .. when she got back I quickly hang the phone and help her to take things for her ~ good girl always do tat rite ? hehehhe ~ muackss (2 my diary not U! perasan)
Urm after tat on9 and on9 and talk again lor :P then u know ar ~ I went to bath at 11.30 and came out 15 minutes later :P
Ish~ after tat I ate cereal with milk .. so disgusting =( I have to be in school by 12.45 and muahahha I reach there exactly at 12.45 .. so tepat rite ? :P
dunno wat to type adi~ feel so down =( got scolding from my daddy cause of the phone bill .. i am grounded even for my birthday .. it's my fault ler i guess .. buh bye
..ade
ttn'
9:31 PM
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Today in school lots of things happened, I watched the movie “Big Fat Liar” it was so funny :P I wasn’t really paying full attention on it since I already watch it for like 4 times before I watched it again just now. But it was still so funny :p hahaha ~ cannot stand not laughing cause all my best friends were laughing. And ar~ there’s one of my best friend, Tiffany and the girl next to her, Goh is my best friend to. Tiff was using my marker pen and drawing Goh’s bottle (pity her!) of course, as a good friend I helped Tiff to draw too :P and that drawing turn out to be amazingly beautiful :P hahahah~ I can’t stop laughing and ar .. I was sitting at the back of three prefects some more and I also eat ~ at the back lagi got one adik angkat ~ I really wonder they realized I eat or not .. so funny man, I accidentally kicked one of the prefect’s butt :P I keep laughing till the end of the show, I almost got kicked out by the teacher for laughing too much ~ but cannot tahan mar :p
Okie ~ after the movie ~ it was still not recess so me and my gang went slacking around the school~ melepak lar .. so we was like went to put down our bags in our classes first then we went to the volleyball court, we played and played and pang pang ~ thunder and lightning came ~ spoilt our spirit of playing volleyball then it start drizzling and then raining :~ so sad ~ hehehhe but then we ran back to KYS’s, Regina’s and Tiff’s class (all also my best frd lar :P) we was like damn lar ~ still got half an hour ~ do wat wor then kys challenged me in chess .. darn it ~ I suck in chess k .. so don’t laugh :P the first game took like 4 minutes to checkmate me and the second game took like for 5 minutes ~ and here come the third game (and the fastest :P) two minutes and im off ground :P cannot blame ~ she so good in chess mar .. ahaha and the last game is like took a longer time but then ~ no winner cause the recess bell rang in time, saved me :P the fourth and the last game took like more than 15 minutes and still nobody win ~ so nice, that shows tat im pro liao .. muahahhaha (im very perasan ler~ :P)
Well during recess~ I ate roti canai cheese sausage telur~ so freaking nice man ~ so long didn’t eat adi lor :P and too I drank ice lemon tea ~ one of my fav drinks :p .. after tat I bought a packet of tibits~ for my frens ~ potato chicken .. buy for them duwan eat .. also gimme >.<>.< go pull that Marisa to the volleyball court and play with us .. after tat all her friends appeared too ..
So paiseH~ lar ahhahaha ~ and the way tiffany play so cute ~ beh tahan .. laugh like mad ~ Marisa keep saying her cute dunno how many times also ;p .. haiH~ then at the end of the day~ that stupiak tiffany ar ~ pinch my cheek until bleed :( so pain .. wanna cry er .. after tat there was a bitch fight between “somebody” and “somebody” :P duwan to care ler ~ later trouble come in me again ~ after few minutes, bell rang and buh bye ~ walk to my care then blah .. went home ~ on9 then go bath then on9 again then go eat and here I am now sitting here writing u :( I feel so awful suddenly, is it because he left ? or it’s my own problem ? missing my bunny a lot :( but he dunno ..
written by,
baby^ade~ aka blurbaby :(
..ade
ttn'
8:32 PM
yea my title is river south, u didnt read wrong .. why ? cause i dunno what im feeling now, but only tat song can prove it all ~ my heart is breaking into pieces, no one can see it nobody heard it i feel so tired, so lonely. lastnight, i dun i sleep at all, my heart was not in me, i was drifted apart lastnight by somebody i guess ..
today im kinda peace, i feel so tired now, really tired, i dare not talk to him, all i can do is sit beside and look at them chatting while im typing u now :(( i really wanna cry but the tears wont come out .. i cant hold on any longer ~ everytime i see him talking about her, i'll just fall off >.< i can't do it anymore .. teach me what shud i do ? i really want bunny, i really need my bunny ~ where are u ? i dun have the courage to type anymore
i think i'll type later on ~ later ~ bye
..ade
ttn'
3:17 PM
You're simply amazing..I've never had
anyone like you in my life... the way you
make me smile is just unbelievable<3
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