Entries
i learnt alot of things these few days.. all about life n love, *sighs* there will b time that we regret lots of things n there also will b time tat we were so happy but there will b time when we are sad, have u ever wonder y we regret ? coz we're too scared to face d truth n the only way is to regret n keep looking back like me but somehow i kinda let him go, not for another guy but for her .. its not tat im his gf or wat or maybe im just like a frd to him but i want to own him like SHE does so id do anythin but now somehow i dont know, things are so weird .. i dont know
i've did alot of wrongs lately not only this year but last year too .. but i really dont know, i feel like i cant stop myself from it, its like im addicted to doing wrong but i wanna stop it n i just cant n im so sorry to d dear ones ive hurt all this while.. im so sick of life all of a sudden like im dying anyhow or anywhat .. but i just cant bear to leave him, i love him i do .. i always do but i dont know, i cant breathe whenever i think of all my problems .. i cant seem to share it wif anyone .. what am i suppose to do ?
ahhhhhhhhh!! my life is a disaster, worst still CNY n valentine's day is coming n im feeling so guilty n miserable! pls God, help me!! i feel like dying ler, im so guilty, grrrrrrrr!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sighs feel like sleeping now >.<
signing off
adelene
..ade
ttn'
10:00 AM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
remember we'd be up all nite
talking til the morning light, yea
like the way it used to b
those simple days
juz u and me
i think baby i know
wat's on ur mind?
coz u look like u've smth to say
i may not say those words anymore
but mayb it juz aint ma way
u ask me do i love u but
do u remember
y i walked on water for u
do u remember
my first step on d moon
have u ever wonder y
i gave u 3 wishes to u
u asked d question
but the answer lies in u, in u
the answer lies in u
remember we used to laf n say
no one else cud get in our way
n there were times when u wud cry
n came knocking on my door
and i was there to shelter ur pain
i think baby u shud get tat off ur mind
make it seem like a brighter day
u ask me do i love u but
do u remember
y i walked on water for u
do u remember
my first step on d moon
have u ever wonder y
i gave u 3 wishes to u
u asked d question
but the answer lies in u, in u
the answer lies in u
the answer girl
lies within ur heart
take a look inside
u ask me do i love u but
do u remember
y i walked on water for u
do u remember
my first step on d moon
have u ever wonder y
i gave u 3 wishes to u
u asked d question
but the answer lies in u, in u
the answer lies in u
in u, in u
the answer lies in u
la la la .. how i wish he wud sing this to me .. sighs i mean him as in mark not aaron, he's gaY! *lolZ* muacks, im feelin so happy man.. dunno y i mean yeah, coz maybe i didnt get into a quarrel wif him any longer .. yeah .. happiez~!! heapz heapz .. mwahz! love u bloggie blog .. do u know how much im in love with markie ? so much tat i could sacrifice everything even my life .. everybody think im stupid for loving somebody so much in this age ? sighs .. memang la im silly so ? love is selfish, love is blind ! la la la, *mwahzzzzz* mark bernard, listen up! I LOVE YOU! so friggin much
aikss 10.50pm gtg now ler >.< want to go watch GHOST MOVIE! muakakaka
signing off, nitez
love u my dearest blog,
adelene tan aka stupid rabbit!
10.53
..ade
ttn'
10:04 PM
here i am sitting in front of the comp early morning of 18th january 2005 6.19a.m. original time in penang n whole malaysia now writing this blog coz im not feeling rite again =( y ? coz i dunno *lol* im feeling like vomitting since lastnight *damn it nawh! im not preggie!dun curse me la stupid* im pure n innocent n sacred n included virgin =P la la la, well my love life's existence is all about MARK BERNARD MAPOTHER III . .CIZ! dun b too proud coz u have too many admirers :P its HARMFUL ya know ;) hehhehe.. im listening to a thousand miles now by vanessa carlton, *lol* no original feelings la .. juz some normal song, crapz my left arm hurts so much =( hey, i gtg bath first d >.<>.<
ciaoz bloggie babe .. muacks! i miss him so much, baby..
loging off,
adelene
6.35am
..ade
ttn'
6:18 AM
Monday, January 17, 2005
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone
You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore
broken by seether n amy lee (the punisher's ost)
u know this song rite actually carry out about my life now :P its like i dunno resembles me ? absolutely but well i dont know i knew d truth all this while but i keep banging myself to it again n again .. somehow i really think im stupid n silly enuf to held on to somebody tat hurt me so much yet i still love him so much .. even if i have to die to get his love .. i will .. i swear i will, if only u know how much i'll do for u .. but i know things wont work out anymore but if there's a second chance .. i'll tressure it, if only u cud gimme .. i dont know if there's anymore girls telling u tat they'll even die jz to have u but im serious for it, u know how important ur to me? id jz do anything to get ur attention but somehow u juz dun get my hint dun u ?
ok~ dun talk about love d la! so confusing, just leave it to fate! kekkeke, start off wif ma school la .. tell u wat la, this school useless la! really bo lo eong (no road use[[very terribly useless]]) wan!lol! wanna know whY ? damn alot of homework! only third week leh~ so many homework adi .. im so tired ma.. came back at 7 smth .. somemore got tuition till 10 smth! crpz la .. after tat sure tired d ma, then rite must relax watch tellie n bla bla bla .. sleep then wake up at early mornin' on9 till 10 smth, bath then eat then wait for ahcek to come fetch me to schooL! shyt la, where got time to do homework ? rite? sighs! >.< useless la the school .. hehehe .. *mwahsz* to mark bernard MAPOTHER III i miz ya so muchie~ when r we goin to love again ? *rofl* muacks, bb ar love u so much kau tau tak ? really love u man! i dont know how m i goin to live without u! seriously so freaking love u till i can die :P serious serious! no jk baby muacks!
hey, dr bunny when are u going to cure me ? =( im sick! so friggin sick la, feel like puking *nawh, im not pregnant*
gtg ler
muacks!
signing off
adelene rabbit gal .. nursey~
..ade
ttn'
10:01 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005
lol~ im feeling alrite today lol! woke up at 8.30 coz my hp rang .. stupid edmund! sms me so early for wat .. disturb my early sleep! lol! actually not him la, its my alarm .. actually shud ring at 7.30 wan coz i set alarm n i wanna call him to wake "him" up .. manatau me pig! cannot wake up .. then canot lor .. so after i woke up, i went to the washroom go wash my face face .. then went down to on the comp!! wats so exciting? he was online!! but but * say faster la* he's away *cheh* lol~! cannot blame ma .. he went to church adi, he's a good christian :) n im a good girl *nasty girl* im not nasty! im good ~!! quite la u stupid blog! jgn kacau saya tulis !! shh shh .. away u go *hmmph.. disappears* lol .. fine i'll stop jk baby.. let continue, after tat i went online as usual i went to friendster n edit frds AGAIN n post some bullentin :p
around 10 smth, my dad woke up.. he showered n asked me to, then i went .. then everyone woke up, they showered too then we went out for breakfast around 11 smth .. i ate char koay teow!! so nice!! so long since i followed my family out coz last time i was too obsessed wif the comp till i abandon my family !! now im turning to a parent's dotti !! muakakka * devil can never turn back* hey! im angel not devil la .. u stupid head !! hmmpH!after tat we went to sunshine farlim to do some shopping n there's one guy keep bugging my dad to do the credit card then my dad got so irritated .. he signed up for da credit card!! lol!! new way for those salesman out there, irritate ur customer n they'll buy from u .. pandai kan saya nI? hahaha, after tat my mum n bro finish buying ler .. they came out but my daddy still talking to the guy .. my mum bought a nasi lemak, n some mango pulut for my bro n dad .. then my eldest bro asked me to buy him mix sundae cone.. i bought myself one too!! so nice!! >.<>
then we reached home around 1 .. my dad used the comp again *every sat n sun surely he use wan >.<>.<>
time passes n here i am sitting here writing this damn long long blog :P thank u thank u .. i know im clever.. lol
so i'll stop here okie
signing off
adelene ;)
..ade
ttn'
7:18 PM
one word, the saddest
often left unsaid
the word for depature
a gentle farewell, or
spoken in anger:
good-bye
lover's promise for a next meeting
lover's curse in rage
a dying man's pledge to the world
my sorrow, held back tears,
Good-bye
..ade
ttn'
7:16 PM
Saturday, January 08, 2005
hey! im here again.. i feel like updating my blogs nowadays .. guess wht ? i did smth i regretted today but then i cant turn back anymore, something maybe i'll b happy one day.. maybe both of us should just remain liddat for now, i need sometime alone .. i think i can still live on without you, all i need is time .. time heals, althought we're not together.. i still luv u like u said in the other way .. i dont take u for granted or anything .. but now im sick of it .. im tired of being something im not to u .. everything is just a mistake, i shudn't have put all my hopes in u n im suffering myself now well u enjoy urself with ur whatever human -.- i dun give a damn, she's worse the zero to me .. LKP to me la ..
n yeah .. just now i talked to edmund .. lol he changed so much since da last time i talk to him, yeah lo .. so rough la ur voice edmund :p hahahha, i went mcDonald just now .. crapz .. i spend around 40 bucks there .. darn!! yeah la .. treat tiffany, regina, venne, kaan, del, teresa n ee mei .. ok maybe not all, but they steal my french fries n twister fries !! LOLZ!! fine fine, im wrong again .. oh yeah we went in to the mcD's playground.. u know the one which they put 3 - 12 years old .. 13 n above r not allowed.. yeah we went in there n play !! man .. i miss those time when i was a kid, no misery .. no sadness .. no burden.. like now, i mean we have pressure in everything now.. crapz la >.< i wanna b in std 1 .. seriously, u know r when i was std 1 i wanted to b 21 so i can haf freedom n also can work .. lol i was so stupid la .. want to work, ask my future husband menyara me can liao :p
this time, i swear i wont turn back anymore .. NOT ANYMORE, im ADELENE TAN WEI SHIAN!! remember ? the girl with lots of laughters in school n never cry over stuff tat doesnt really matter much anymore :) hehe, a playgirl ? no not anymore :D i realised it hurts to play ppl's feelings .. its a sin!! muacks~!! baby!! i wanna suck lolipop!! who steal my lollipop? im killing tat person .. hehehhe!!
one week has passed :P school was ok lar .. the teacher all nice nice except for tat miss ho ho ho!! santa claus is comin to town .. *woke up* oooH!! yeah miss HO!! tat ENGLISH teacher .. not only tat!! she even teach me PJ, crapz man .. now dun have freedom adi with her !! screw u bytch!! *taking a screwdriver to screw MISS HO HO HO* LOLOLOL!! just jk baby ~ i wont murder her, guess wat she's 33 n she's still single .. i tell u why, coz rite shes too UGLY!! n perasaN!! wakakkakaka, da bee is gone with the wind but the honey is still staying .. not single, not attached either .. im DOUBLE baby!!! lolololol
MUACKS!!!!!!!!!! i love you so freaking much baby ;) my baby is my blogs ar :P
IVAN LOW JUN ZHI!!!!!!!! where r u ar? i wanna kill u adi .. how dare u cancel my call ? :P pigi mati la ! curse u , screw u , damn u! :p la la la la la !!
ooh yeah ! remembered althought im not with you now, i love u still so much.. i knw u will think tat it doesnt matter but all i want u to know is i love u with all my heart .. if only i cud turn back da time i will but now u said u wun stay in one chapter, im different.. i will stay here till the wind blow me away .. love you bee ..
..ade
ttn'
10:22 PM
i cannot let u go
i cannot let da memory die
even wif my last breath
i'll call out ur name
to sleep, to dream
for all my waking thoughts are of u
i'll always remember your swagger
ur laughters, ur evasive manner
in which i am envapt
off my feet i was swept!
and inside my heart
lodge the thorns of regret
for letting you go
for all the wrongs i did to u
heavily i cannot forget
so i lie here thinking of u
there is nothing else i can do
my limbs are limp
my mind is disconnected
there is no happiness left for me
save the memory of u ..
..ade
ttn'
8:45 PM
You're simply amazing..I've never had
anyone like you in my life... the way you
make me smile is just unbelievable<3
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